Dads, this one is for you.

There are many dreams I remember seeing even as a child. There's one that stands  especially vivid,  I saw it when I was 7 y.o.. I'm in the playground of my pre-school, all alone. Then I see my father walking towards me. He came to say goodbye.  I embraced him and started crying. I woke up in tears...  My father was leaving indeed – our family was moving to another part of the country, and he was going a month ahead of us.  So a couple weeks after that dream I was standing on a railway platform, embracing him and crying. 

A year later my sister and I were standing at our  new house embracing our father, all three of us crying.  He was leaving again. This time to never come back.  I remember running back to the house looking for something I wanted him to keep.  It was a card I had made for him for a Father's day that year. It was the last Father's day card I ever made.

I sent him a letter when I was 20.  That year I found courage to put the heavy load of pain, hurt and difficult memories at the feet of Jesus.  As the New Year approached I sent him a card where I expressed love that God put in my heart for him.  I didn't notice any visible change for better in my father  in a few interactions that we had with him in the next few years, but since then I started living in freedom. Forgiveness led me to experiencing the love of my Heavenly Father.  His love healed my heart that had been crying all those years for a father whom I forgot what it was like to have.

When people challenge my faith in God I can't prove them anything but I can defend the hope that I have in Christ. Knowledge doesn't heal hearts.  Relationships do.  I have a relationship that healed my heart,  and now I have a Father. 

On this Father's Day I want to thank the fathers that I met on my way. Seeing each of you interact with your children, especially daughters, was something God used to stir my heart and touch the hurting places, give me hope and heal me.  I was watching you holding your children, and almost every time I sensed God saying to me, until I believed in it – “See, this is how I hold you in my arms. I always loved you. And I always will.” Thank you for loving your children, Dads, I have much respect for each of you.  Your relationships with your children have blessed more children than you know. I am one of them. Keep loving, Dads.  Your love is life giving, it enables children to experience the love of God.  I didn't have  a dad like you, but you all in different ways pointed me to the only true Father that I have.  You guys rock!

As I write this post, I'm thinking, in particular, of my “tatko” Vitalik,  my African dad Peter, Bob Gilster, Rob Thomas,  Sergey Aleev, Ivan Kulikov, Roman Rubcov, Sean Sanborn,  Jim Weikert, Robert Baerg, David Bute, Victor Evpak, Dan Bray, Micah Wood, P' Ek, Russell Sanche, Dave Houser, Brian, and my very special Papa Smith.   May each of you be secure in the love of your Heavenly Father, as I have came to know more of it through you.